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The Girl Who Never Was by Jan Alexander
The Girl Who Never Was by Jan Alexander




The Girl Who Never Was by Jan Alexander

My high cheekbones, large slanting eyes, wide mouth, small chin, and rounded jaw have been restrung in base, powder, eyeliner, lipstick, eyebrow pencil. My face, in the makeup I have just applied, is a success.

The Girl Who Never Was by Jan Alexander

I remember always being tempted then to do what I have just done now, and always stopping, always thinking I would do it later. I did fake mustaches and eyelashes then, bruises, wounds, tattoos. In high school I learned to do makeup for theater. My face glows back at me from the light of twelve 100-watt bulbs. I am in my friend John’s bathroom, alone in front of the mirror, wearing a black turtleneck and leggings. Mirrored discoball, wig, diameter: 40 cm.






The Girl Who Never Was by Jan Alexander